wear your eye color well

I've always thought green eyes
to be alluring...
until I saw them on me.

Mine were not a beautiful shade
of emerald, olive, or jade.
But rather more the monstrous hue
brought on by jealousy, envy and pride.

It's hard to admit my selfish sin,
as it sounds so petty and small.
But when I read today's Psalm,
I must admit I found relief...
that I am not alone in the tripping,
the weary wondering why them
and not me?

For Asaph, the seer, writes...
Truly God is good to Israel,
To such as are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled;
My steps had nearly slipped.
For I was envious of the boastful,
When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
Psalm 73:1-3 NKJV

Here Asaph, a prophet, a man of God,
is telling of his own departure.
He struggles with knowing God's goodness
simply because his focus is on
the prosperity of the wicked.

How do we...
who strive to follow after God,
seeking to worship Him before self,
seem to stay stuck in the sameness...
when worldly people around us
find favor and fortune,
fanning the flames of their future?

I mean, I'll be honest...
there are often things
I feel God has told me to give up.
Things for me, that cause sin or struggle.
And sometimes it takes me great effort
but I give them up, nonetheless.

Then the very same thing I gave up,
is then performed and paraded
in front of me by someone I know.
It does not tempt me to sin
as much as frustrate me
that they then profit
and are promoted.

Even another Christian...
a close follower of God.
It is not sin for them.
It causes their heart no harm.

Yet I stand there... still...
fearful to move, that I might sink
deeper into my heavy heart.
​
Mouth agape, I cry out...
Lord, why is it ok for them,
but not for me?
And there is no reply.

Asaph continues...
mostly lamenting
the prideful and wicked man.
But his jealousy is the same.
His green eyes lack luster...
as do mine.
And they cause us both to stumble,
to slip, and to slide.

But Asaph, O Asaph...
here he points us to the solution.
When I thought how to understand this,
It was too painful for me...
Until I went into the sanctuary of God;
Then I understood their end.
Psalm 73:16-17

When we stand in the raw light of the world
trying to understand the perspective of God
it will simply not make sense.
I will remain tearful, squinting,
green-eyed and frustrated.

For even though God created the sun
which shines upon this world,
it has been darkened by an evil presence...
shadows that cloud our thinking.

Better we enter the full presence of God
to understand His directions.
We need to worship, praise Him,
find answers in scripture,
and seek Him in prayer.

This is how Asaph found eternal perspective.
Then I understood their end.

He sought understanding from God
rather than himself.
When he considered earthly rewards
compared to eternal,
he realized these men were
to be pitied rather than envied.
They were settling for the now,
not the eternal.

All is well that ends well...
everlastingly well;
but nothing well that ends ill...
everlastingly ill.
~ Matthew Henry

I have come to the conclusion
that while still I think green eyes to be pretty,
I much prefer mine blue.

And I set them to focus on my own path.
The one God has designed just for me,
rather than trying to judge or overtake
the path God chose for another's life.
For on my own...
there is much to see,
much to learn,
much to challenge my strength...
all of them good and pleasant for me.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth 
that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart
​and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:25-26

Word of God,
train me, today...
to set my mind on You for understanding,
to fix my eyes on the path you have designed for my life and be thankful.

Lord,
You are all that I desire.
Let my heart not fail,
nor look to another
for comparison.

Strengthen me,
guide me,
help me
to stay fixed
on the plan You have
for my life.

Let me glorify You.

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