the divine longing to satisfy

Some days I whirl and twirl
turning to look back,
and it seems...
as if nothing is accomplished.
But clearly I toiled,
for I am tired.

Some mornings I wonder
will it be worth it?
This getting up
to start the madness
all over again?

But then I stop.
Shake off my negativity and
remember...
not to over think everything.

So I will seek wisdom...
this Solomon should have it for me,
Right?

I communed with my heart, saying,
“Look, I have attained greatness, and
have gained more wisdom
than all who were before me in Jerusalem.
My heart has understood
great wisdom and knowledge.”
And I set my heart to know wisdom and
to know madness and folly.
I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.

For in much wisdom is much grief,
And he who increases knowledge
increases sorrow.
Ecclesiastes 1:16-18 NKJV

How can it be
that even Solomon
given all this wisdom
all this wealth...
would stop to reflect on his life
and find such discontent?

He had everything...
literally.
And yet he had nothing.
He called it all vanity
and grasping for the wind.

We are not so different from these...
the wealthy, famous, wise and influential.
They may hold what we don't,
but that does not fill the void within.

For deep within us all
God has woven our soul...
our appetite,
our desire,
our passion;
The substance of our being.

This, truly the most complicated
part of our creation.
Some call it the heart.
But it is simply the place
within us that we live to satisfy.

It may be the reason you get up in the morning.
Or why you pursue a hobby, a habit, even an addiction.
It is the reason people start businesses,
write songs, paint pictures, dream dreams.

It is an itch that needs to be scratched,
a thirst that needs to be quenched,
an hunger that needs to be filled.

We all deeply long to satisfy our souls.
Yet here, as we read Ecclesiastes,
we discover that Solomon, in all his wisdom,
with all his wealth and affluence,
was unable to find this satisfaction on his own.

For at one time, Solomon was
a twenty-something, eager new king
who asked God for wisdom.
But here we find him as a
discontent, disillusioned, sorrowful man
who talked to himself.

What happened along the way
to change this man in his endeavor
to satisfy his soul?

Might I suggest a Peek at the Pronouns?
As odd as this analysis might sound...
sometimes it gives a deeper look at the heart.

Here, just a small sample...
Skim it, if you prefer,
just take note of the pronouns.

I made my works great, I built myself houses, and planted myself vineyards. I made myself gardens and orchards, and I planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made myself water pools from which to water the growing trees of the grove. I acquired male and female servants, and had servants born in my house. Yes, I had greater possessions of herds and flocks than all who were in Jerusalem before me. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the special treasures of kings and of the provinces. I acquired male and female singers, the delights of the sons of men, and musical instruments of all kinds.
So I became great and
excelled more than all who were before me in Jerusalem.
Also my wisdom remained with me.
Ecclesiastes 2:4-9

Do you see it...
all the greatness that Solomon saw...
in himself?

And look how many times
in six verses above,
Solomon chose to thank God
for his wisdom,
his treasures,
his wealth,
his health,
his land
his livestock,
his affluence, or even
his life.

Exactly none.

It would seem that over these 40 years,
Solomon's focus had shifted.
From needing God's wisdom
to judge His people...
which God so freely gave.

And moved toward all the things
that Solomon did
because Solomon thought he was great.

Where Solomon once humbly
asked God for help,
now a prideful heart
heavily weighed him down.

His soul, clearly unsatisfied,
for he stuffed it full of himself.

If God created us
and wove within us this soul
so complicated to satisfy...
then why would He make it
so that we could simply
fill it up with our own junk.

I mean, it's a divinely created soul.
So it has an appetite for the divine.

Solomon had been blessed with the divine,
but he chose to surround himself
with buildings, wealth and women,
And none satisfied him.

Therefore I hated life
because the work that was done
under the sun was distressing to me,
for all is vanity and grasping for the wind.
Ecclesiastes 2:17

Unbelievably sad.
Overwhelmingly negative.
​I cringe at the thought of living this way.

He had everything...
except that he left God behind.
So he had nothing.

Without God,
our lives are meaningless.
It does not matter who we stand among.
What we hold in our hands.
Where we choose to parade it.
How many dollars went to buy it.

Without God,
our soul's appetite will never
be satisfied.

Give thanks to the Lord
for He is GOOD.
His faithful love
endures forever!
Psalm 106:1

Word of God,
train me, today...
to thank You before,
for all that You provide to me,
to thank You during,
for all that You are creating in me,
to thank You after,
for all that You have done through me.

You, Lord, have created
my divine soul.
You, have woven
in me a hunger
beyond this world.

Let me me not strive
for things so lowly
as pride, selfishness, or fame
to fill this void.

But rather,
let me first, last and only
give my heart to You.