I am nowhere near the place of admitting senility. But have I had that moment when come to a dead stop on my way through the middle of a room, put my hand to my head and think, what was heading this way to do? Because I did have a purpose. And I knew what I was busy doing at my desk a moment ago. Clearly I got up to go do, or get something of value. So why have I gone blank? Confusion. It's not that I have an empty mind. It's that I have so many things jammed in the filing cabinet up there, that the folders are bursting at the seams, and the drawers won't fully close anymore. So I've just piled up stuff, on top of stuff, on top of stuff. And my thoughts sometimes slide off the top of the pile... leaving me standing in the middle of a room. Confusion. You would think it might be a loud and noisy place. But sometimes it comes with a great deal of silence. So very many ideas... but uncertainty as to just how to weave them together in a logical format that others will comprehend. Confusion. That is what causes me to get stuck and feel as though I am unsuccessful in finishing. Even though I have given great effort throughout the day. But today, I was relieved, when God said... You know Lisa, you are not alone. Others have felt that very same way... And He pointed this out in in the book of Nehemiah, when the people He charged to rebuild the wall faced great opposition... So we built the wall, and the entire wall was joined together up to half its height, for the people had a mind to work. Now it happened, when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites, and the Ashdodites heard that the walls of Jerusalem were being restored and the gaps were beginning to be closed, that they became very angry, and all of them conspired together to come and attack Jerusalem and create confusion. Nehemiah 4:6-8 NKJV Here were some people who had a mind to work. They got up each morning intent to accomplish good things for God. Unfortunately, that stirred anger in the enemies of these people... or rather, the enemies of God. For anyone who opposes God's people, and God's plan, is really opposing God, Himself. And these people were conspiring to come and attack them, creating confusion. The very problem that I face as well. Sometimes my confusion may be as simple as priority. What is the most important idea? Sometimes my confusion may be how to implement it. Sometimes it may be a greater frustration with a technology, or a person that I am unable to get help from in a needed time frame. No matter the issue of the day, if it impedes my productivity, there are gaps in my finished work... there is weakness in the structure, just as there would have been in that wall around the city of Jerusalem. And that would have made the enemies of that city smile with arrogant pleasure. And the people filled with discouragement. But Nehemiah wouldn't stand for it... Nevertheless we made our prayer to our God, and because of them we set a watch against them day and night. Nehemiah 4:9 And he armed them... Therefore I positioned men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows. And the people found success... And it happened, when our enemies heard that it was known to us, and that God had brought their plot to nothing, that all of us returned to the wall, everyone to his work. Nehemiah 4:13,15 I simply need to be more diligent in my prayer. Day and night, setting a watch, knowing that I have an enemy... the same enemy of God who does not want me to succeed in making Him famous. And in order for me not to suffer confusion, I must pray, day and night. I must be diligent with my sword, which is the Word of God. And I must trust and know that God will bring their plot to nothing, as He did these three who tried and failed against the rebuilding of this wall. Word of God train me today... To trust You, Lord, more than my confusion. To set a watch, the night before, and the morning of... always diligent to pray in the Spirit, Lord, Your will being done will never cause me confusion.
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January 2019
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