set a watch against confusion

I am nowhere near
the place of admitting senility.

But have I had that moment
when come to a dead stop
on my way through the middle of a room,
put my hand to my head and think,
what was heading this way to do?

Because I did have a purpose.
And I knew what I was busy doing
at my desk a moment ago.
Clearly I got up to go do, or get
something of value.
So why have I gone blank?

Confusion.
It's not that I have an empty mind.
It's that I have so many things
jammed in the filing cabinet up there,
that the folders are bursting
at the seams, and the drawers
won't fully close anymore.

So I've just piled up stuff,
on top of stuff, on top of stuff.
And my thoughts sometimes
slide off the top of the pile...
leaving me standing
in the middle of a room.

Confusion.
You would think it might be
a loud and noisy place.
But sometimes it comes
with a great deal of silence.

So very many ideas...
but uncertainty as to just how
to weave them together
in a logical format that others
will comprehend.

Confusion.
That is what causes me
to get stuck and feel as though
I am unsuccessful in finishing.
Even though I have given
great effort throughout the day.

But today, I was relieved,
when God said...
You know Lisa, you are not alone.
Others have felt that very same way...
And He pointed this out in
in the book of Nehemiah, when
the people He charged to rebuild the wall
faced great opposition...

So we built the wall,
and the entire wall was joined together
up to half its height,
for the people had a mind to work.

Now it happened, when Sanballat,
Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites,
and the Ashdodites heard that
the walls of Jerusalem were being restored
and the gaps were beginning to be closed,
that they became very angry,
and all of them conspired together
to come and attack Jerusalem
and create confusion.
Nehemiah 4:6-8 NKJV

Here were some people
who had a mind to work.

They got up each morning intent
to accomplish good things for God.

Unfortunately, that stirred anger
in the enemies of these people...
or rather, the enemies of God.
For anyone who opposes
God's people, and God's plan,
is really opposing God, Himself.

And these people were conspiring
to come and attack them,
creating confusion.
The very problem that I face as well.

Sometimes my confusion may be
as simple as priority.
What is the most important idea?
Sometimes my confusion may be
how to implement it.
Sometimes it may be a greater
frustration with a technology,
or a person that I am unable
to get help from in a needed time frame.

No matter the issue of the day,
if it impedes my productivity,
there are gaps in my finished work...
there is weakness in the structure,
just as there would have been
in that wall around the city of Jerusalem.

And that would have made the enemies
of that city smile with arrogant pleasure.
And the people filled with discouragement.

But Nehemiah wouldn't stand for it...
Nevertheless we made our prayer to our God,
and because of them we set a watch
against them day and night.
Nehemiah 4:9

And he armed them...
Therefore I positioned men
behind the lower parts of the wall,
at the openings; and I set the people
according to their families,
with their swords, their spears,
and their bows.

And the people found success...
And it happened,
when our enemies heard
that it was known to us, and
that God had brought
their plot to nothing,
that all of us returned to the wall,
everyone to his work.
Nehemiah 4:13,15

I simply need to be
more diligent in my prayer.
Day and night, setting a watch,
knowing that I have an enemy...
the same enemy of God who does not
want me to succeed in making Him famous.

And in order for me
not to suffer confusion,
I must pray, day and night.
I must be diligent with my sword,
which is the Word of God.
And I must trust and know
that God will bring their plot to nothing,
as He did these three who tried
and failed against the rebuilding of this wall.

Word of God
train me today...
To trust You, Lord,
more than my confusion.

To set a watch, the night before,
and the morning of...
always diligent to pray in the Spirit,
Lord, Your will being done
will never cause me confusion.