When I was a teenager,
my parents gave me a bible one year for my birthday.
It was one of those really nice study bibles
with a leather cover...
my name embossed in gold.

I still have it,
though it's not the one I use often.
But it is a treasure,
partly because my Daddy wrote to me
on the dedication page...
Do not let your adornment be merely outward...
arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel.
Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart,
with the incorruptible beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is very precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV

And I always remember trying to be that girl growing up...
with the gentle and quiet spirit.
But my mom used to
hush me sometimes, saying,
"Lisa, you're just talking too loud."

And I let that hurt my feelings, thinking,
I'll never be that gentle and quiet woman...
precious in the sight of God.
I was just too loud!

But as I've grown older, God has shown me
that Peter was not really describing
the volume of our voice.
He was talking about living godly lives
that can actually speak without words.

And today, we get a clearer picture
of such a woman...
a wise woman who, believe it or not,
shouts the first time we meet her.

For there was unrest in Israel, yet again.
King David was back upon the throne in Jerusalem,
but a rebel, named Sheba rallied men against him.

And David called upon his loyal men to pursue Sheba.
With Joab and Abishai commanding the troops,
they came upon the city where Sheba made his headquarters.

Surrounding the city, Joab's men built a ramp
and began their siege to batter down the walls.
When Joab heard a voice call his name...
Then a wise woman cried out from the city,
“Hear, hear! Please say to Joab,
‘Come nearby, that I may speak with you.

When he had come near to her,
the woman said, “Are you Joab?”
He answered, “I am.”
Then she said to him,
“Hear the words of your maidservant.”
And he answered, “I am listening.”
2 Samuel 20:16-17 NKJV

​This wise woman was a resident inside the city wall.
Keen to current events that affected her home,
she called from the wall
humbly hoping herself to be heard

She was wise to know who was in command.
She was wise to appeal to his pride.
And Joab listened.

And she spoke of former days,
when conflict was settled with words rather than weapons.

She was no longer shouting,
as she continued...
I am among the peaceable and faithful in Israel.
You seek to destroy a city and a mother in Israel.
Why would you swallow up the inheritance of the Lord?”
2 Samuel 20:19

As she pleaded for these innocent inhabitants
she must have captivated Joab.
These are not warriors within
that will fight back, that will side with Sheba.
Rather they were the peaceful, faithful...
the inheritance to the Lord.
And I believe Joab had been caught by surprise,
negotiating peace with a woman...
so different, so wise.

For Joab put on manners
as he begins with a stuttered start...
“Far be it,
far be it from me,
that I should swallow up or destroy!
That is not so. But a man from the mountains of Ephraim,
Sheba the son of Bichri by name,
has raised his hand against the king, against David.
Deliver him only, and I will depart from the city.”
2 Samuel 20:20-21

So she departed from the wall...
Then the woman in her wisdom went to all the people.
And they cut off the head of Sheba the son of Bichri,
and threw it out to Joab.
Then he blew a trumpet,
and they withdrew from the city,
every man to his tent.
So Joab returned to the king at Jerusalem.
2 Samuel 20:22

I won't hazard to guess
where this city's delegation of men were at this time...
maybe negotiating with Sheba,
maybe holding meetings,
maybe strategic planning,
maybe writing memos.

But I am grateful for this wise woman.
for she has taught me much.

Clearly a compassionate caretaker of this city, was she.
It is certain she rightfully earned her adjective
by living a godly life before others
that actually spoke without words.

Word of God,
train me, today...
to watch the wall of my own world, my home and my family, with protection,
to live a godly life before others that speaks without words.

Oh Absalom the creation of my soul...
Why do you challenge me so?
How did we get to this place where we stand as foes at war...
the battle lines drawn with unmet expectations.

You, my child, are the one I brought forth into this world.
This is not how it should be.
Everyday of your life I wish I could say,
I gave you my best.
But there were days I stood over you in fear...
What if I do this wrong?
What if I make a mistake?

My child is so different,
will anyone even understand him?
Will anyone even care?

For I have done things wrong... so wrong.
And I have made mistakes... plenty.

You know that now
You show that now.

You stand at the gate in judgement and tell of my inadequacies.
And now I feel naked...
exposed to the world.
I so long for them to love you as I do,
to accept you,
even to nurture you and
help you along the way.

I cry out to them, as David did his people...
“Deal gently for my sake
with the young man Absalom.”
And all the people heard...
2 Samuel 18: 5 NKJV

These people heard the king,
but not all obeyed.

But I am not as certain of my plea
​as it goes out
among the noise,
the chatter,
the constant battle for their attention
on this sticky, tangled web.

​I understand this selfish tug of war...
that David must have battled
as I fight for and against my child.

The fear of success.
The fear of failure.

My child is not human...
the Absalom about which I write.
He is the creation of words you read.

He keeps me up late
and wakes me early.
I pour my life into him,
and yet he mocks me.

He seems to turn on me
when I least expect it.
He causes me the greatest fear and insecurity
and will bring me to deepest grief considering his loss.

He is more of a dream really,
a hope,
a goal,
a plan,
a purpose I feel so deeply.
But he eludes me as often as he finds me.

He loves me and hates me.
He judges me always.
Were you successful today?
Did you achieve,
accomplish,
produce,
become...
Are you any closer to your destiny than yesterday?

When I fail it's because I fear.
Is it selfish to want more?
Do promote him, if I believe in him?
Or am I to wait on only God for that?
If I pray for God to grow and give him success,
then power and greatness may follow.
But then more people will expect more...
and the weight will grow heavier.
I may not be able to bear up under it.
What if I fail at success
only to find more judgement?

Oh Absalom!
I fear your death...
I fight and struggle with your life!

Word of God,
train me, today...
to find the balance between pleasing man... even myself, and pleasing You,
to let go of fear... even if it is the death of my dream, and trust You with my life.

Lord,
You know
that round and round I go.
The battle within my mind.
Tells me I'm never enough,
tells me that one day I will be...
but no, I'm not.
No, never enough!
I want to get off
this merry-go-round.

So I will rather call unto You...
the Psalm of David,

Lord, how they have increased who trouble me!
Many are they who rise up against me.
Many are they who say of me,
“There is no help for him in God.”
("they" are my own thoughts)

Selah... pause

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me,
My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
I cried to the Lord with my voice,
And He heard me from His holy hill.

Selah... pause

I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.
Psalm 3:1-5 NKJV

I will try again tomorrow.

Absalom had begun an uprising among the people...
ever working his charm to win their support as king,
rather than his father.

So David headed for the hills,
saying to all the servants with him...
“Arise, and let us flee,
or we shall not escape from Absalom.
Make haste to depart,
lest he overtake us suddenly and bring disaster upon us,
and strike the city with the edge of the sword.”
2 Samuel 15:14 NKJV

And this was certainly not the same David we remember.
The warrior, the conqueror, the king...
the slayer of giants.

And as he climbed higher,
he expressed a myriad of emotions...
fear, mourning, weeping, even worship.

And along the way,
he met those who loved him,
and those who certainly did not.
Now when King David came to Bahurim,
there was a man from the family of the house of Saul,
whose name was Shimei the son of Gera, coming from there.
He came out,
cursing continuously as he came.
And he threw stones at David
and at all the servants of King David.
And all the people and all the mighty men
were on his right hand and on his left.
2 Samuel 16:5-6 NKJV

And Abishai came to David's defense...
ever the commander,
he longed to settle this score,
even to end this man's life.

But David stopped him.
He allowed Shimei to speak his curses...
even to cast his stones
and kick up the dust at his feet.

For somehow,
David believed it was due him.
Maybe for the grief,
the loss of life,
the lost relationships,
the family torn from his hands.
He had listened for years to the accusations from Absalom
that he was not fit to be judge over Israel.
And now, this man too, wanted to throw stones.
So why not let him?

But this man, Shimei,
attacked him for a wrong
that was no fault of David's.
He was reaching way back into the past
to shout the words he must have muttered under his breath for years.
But David was indeed anointed King to replace Saul.
And Saul was a king undone by himself.
​Killed, not by the hand of David,
but by the Philistines...
and David was no where near him at the time.
He even mourned his death,
and honored him with a Psalm.

But people believe...
what people believe.
And they will continue
to throw stones
even at us.
Even if they are wrongfully tossed.

And God will even allow it.
But why?

Maybe in this case,
David needed a little reminder.
To stir up something deep inside...
a knowing,
a realization,
an anointing,
that he was still the king.
And until God anointed another one,
this was still his rightful position.

But David had let fear and feeling
replace his former faith.
He was having a hard time
getting back to that place
of being a warrior,
a conqueror,
a king.

Ever since the prophet Nathan
convicted him of great sin...
of killing Bathsheba's husband Uriah,
David seemed to have forgotten who he was...
his position
his place,
his plan,
his purpose.

Sure he had sinned.
But he had also confessed
repented, and
sacrificed.

But then it seems he spent his years
constantly on the watch
for the consequences pronounced...
Thus says the Lord:
‘Behold, I will raise up adversity
against you from your own house
2 Samuel 12:11

Rather than aspiring to change,
to turn,
to grow,
to challenge
himself and his sons
to be better men.

David has let life steal his optimism...
and in this season, it seems
he has flat out given up.

And still the man follows...
And as David and his men
went along the road,
Shimei went along
the hillside opposite him
and cursed as he went,
threw stones at him
and kicked up dust.
2 Samuel 16:13

But could there still be a purpose?
These annoying people we cannot seem to shake...
that test our patience,
that step on our very last nerve,
will not let us alone,
even when we are at our weakest,
even when we have flat out given up.

Maybe these stones continually cast
might help remind him of the...
five
smooth
stones...
he once picked up.
But just one flung from a sling,
at just the right angle
landed smack between the eyes
of a giant...
had brought him down to the ground,
halting all that taunting
being had done to the Israelites.

Did David begin to remember
who he was?
​
Maybe the response from Abishi, saying...
Why should this dead dog
curse my lord the king?
might help bring to mind the words...
Am I a dog,
that you come to me with sticks?
of a giant shouting to taunt him,
to goad him,
to tease him,
to belittle him.

Do you wonder...
if somewhere deep down,
as he kept walking
David remembered that day,
who he used to be?

Because I think maybe God allows these people
to straggle along,
just a little bit longer
to remind us of our past,
and bring us to a place
where we remember,
not only who we are, but...
Who He is.

Like when,,,
David said to the Philistine,
“You come to me with a sword,
with a spear,
and with a javelin. But
I come to you
in the name of
the Lord of hosts,
the God of the armies of Israel,
whom you have defied.
1 Samuel 17:45

Back then,
on that day...
David knew who he was.
But more importantly,
he knew...
Who his God was!

Sadly though,
as I watch David in this retreat uphill,
I see myself...
in seasons of life
where I wander,
to and from God.

Where I sense Him with me
and I pray and worship Him.
And life is great.

And then...
I completely forget...
and get self-absorbed.
Like... "God who?"

Then my world trembles a bit...
and I look for Him
but cannot find Him.
I do not hear Him,
I do not understand Him.

Back and forth,
up and down.
Just like David,
in seasons of life.

Even though I know,
God is always the same.
It's me that changes.

Word of God,
train me, today...
to never lose sight of You, even in the many seasons of life,
to ever remember who and Whose I am.

Lord,
remind me...
over,
and over,
and over,
and over
​again.

Who
and Whose
I am.

You are
my Lord and King.
​I bow down to You...
the Lord of hosts,
the God of the armies of Israel.

Thank You,
that even though
I am ever up
and then down...
​You never change.

There's no avoiding it.
Evil happened.
Right in the middle of King David's family.
A tragedy of ugliest proportions.
Added to that...
shame, hatred, division, denial.

His family is pulled apart at the seams...
and the edges continue to unravel before his kingdom.

When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry.[d]
Dead Sea Scrolls and Greek version add...
But he did not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him,
for he was his firstborn.​
And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this,
he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister.
2 Samuel 13: 21-22 NLT

And now years pass...
no one speaking of it.
But the bitter root has planted.
It begins to burrow deep...
within Absalom, the older protective brother of this victim Tamar.
Within David, the silent father who no doubt feels guilt
that he did not see through the scheme of his lustful son Amnon.
Maybe he wonders if somehow he could have saved her from this...
protected her,
covered her,
kept her
under his watchful father's eye.

Deeper and deeper this bitter root spreads...
winding its way to tangle, strangle, and torture their hearts.

Revenge is the only fruit budding forth from Absalom's lips.
And he plants the seeds of it into the soil of those nearest and loyal to him.

And now this evil has born death.
Ammon gone to the grave...
the grief should be gone.
And yet, the gap of misunderstanding gapes wider than before.

Absalom vs David...
a war of souls,
of silence,
of separation.

This family of so long ago...
was not fiction,
was not fantasy,
was not just another Bible story.
These were real people,
in a real family,
living a real tragic outcome,
just as people do today.

But God has given wisdom,
even for this...
Be angry and do not sin;
do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and give no opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27 ESV

But how can this apply to such an awful sin?
The tragedy, the loss, the scandal.

Certainly this too would anger God above.
But it's not our anger that He reprimands.
It's the sin that follows...
the way we handle our anger.
And the time we allow to pass between...
like David and Absalom
who spent years, upon years not speaking,
not seeing each other's face.

They made no effort to reconcile
the gaping canyon of loss into which they stared.
They couldn't see how they shared it,
since they stood at different sides,
tethered to their own strands of this darkness.

Yet all the while, as their anger kept them transfixed,
they left their hearts open...
a door of opportunity
for the devil to make his home.

And the longer they waited,
the comfier he got.

And the very same thing can happen to us today.
We too need to be cautious of our anger,
of how we handle it...
especially of how long we hold onto it.

For even if we let our anger get a hold of us for a bit,
we need to let it go quick.
Because time is what gives way to opportunity...

The longer we wait to reconcile,
the wider we open the door for the devil
to make his way into our heart.
And he will not only enter,
he will stroll right in,
make himself comfortable,
and even pull up a chair...
a big, comfy easy chair.
Yep. He's gonna recline right there
inside our heart and make himself at home.
Why? You ask...

Because when we dig deeper
into the verse above from Ephesians,
we find that's what opportunity means in Greek...
5116 topes, (top'-os)
a place, region, seat
Where one can settle, abide, dwell
To give way to one
The seat one gives to another at a feast
The place one occupies, or has a right to

So if we do not let go of our anger,
reconcile, forgive, cross the canyon
and move past the disagreement...
then we have just invited the devil
to live comfortably within our heart!

And that is NOT what I want to do.
I have invited Jesus to live in my heart.
And while I believe He is strong enough
to conquer the devil,
He also gives me free will.
So He will let me open the door to the devil too.

I do not want the devil to dwell comfortably in my heart...
to sit there feeding me lies,
camping out, hardening me
to the grace and mercy
God so longs me to receive and to give.

But this also brings to light
a few people that I know.
And why they act as they do.

And hopefully,
it gives me a better sense of the grace
I can extend to them because they don't realize
the door they have opened
for evil to enter and reign in their heart.

They most likely have less self control
because the devil camps out there every day,
just chillin' in his easy chair, thinking he can call all the shots.

Word of God,
train me, today...
to acknowledge my anger, and humble my heart that I might not sin against You,
to let go of the need to be right, that I may reconcile with others quickly.

Lord,
thank You for living within my heart.
Remind me to quickly reconcile my pride.
Let me not open a door to my enemy,
inviting the devil into a comfortable place
within my heart.

Keep me humble,
drawing closer to You...
obedient,
honest,
selfless,
and kind.

Give me patience
and grace to deal well
with those I know who
have opened the
door of opportunity
to thier heart.
Guide them to the truth
that they may know YOU,
and kick the enemy out
sealing Your presence in
for You to reign
in their hearts.

Have you ever suffered from Spring Fever...
when your weary of winter,
drowning in the dreary, dark days,
sick of the stick figure trees staring down,
begging for blooms to brighten your backdrop?

Because I am guessing that's how David probably felt...
after his many days, months and years in battle.
So this time he chose to stay home.
He had plenty of capable men to send.
​Let them conquer,
let them fight,
let them charge ahead in his name...
as he took this one season off to rest.

​It happened in the spring of the year,
at the time when kings go out to battle...
David sent Joab to command his troops,
but David remained at Jerusalem.

But there was simply too much time...
​and not enough to do.
And David was idle.
He began to wander.

Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed
and walked on the roof of the king’s house.
And from the roof he saw a woman bathing,
and the woman was very beautiful to behold.
2 Samuel 11:1-3 NKJV

Now you may...
or may not,
know of the details of what happened next.
But the woman in question was Bathsheba.
And this became the greatest sins
of David's lifetime.

But I will not belabor the details of that.
For it has been done.
And I am certain you can read
commentary after commentary to learn more
if you so choose.

But what has me fascinated today,
is something that struck me as entirely new.
For what I saw was a common thread.
Between this sin,
and the first sin.

Notice that David was drawn in to his GREATEST sin
by seeing something beautiful.
And Eve was drawn in to the FIRST sin
by seeing something appealing.

Both sins began
with the something they saw as pleasant...
and eventually had to have.

So I did a little digging.
And I found something VERY interesting.
There are three Hebrew words
in the verses about David watching Bathsheba 
that match up with verses found in Genesis,
about Eve and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

So when the woman saw
that the tree was good for food,
that it was pleasant to the eyes,
and a tree desirable to make one wise,
she took of its fruit and ate.
She also gave to her husband with her,
and he ate.
Genesis 3:6 NKJV

But notice how God had himself
describes the tree He created
using the same words...
And out of the ground
the Lord God made every tree grow
that is pleasant to the sight and good for food.
The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden,
and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Genesis 2:9 NKJV

So let us look at the three similar words in these verses.
First...
When the woman saw...
This is the Hebrew word:
7200 raah (raw-aw')
to see, perceive, behold, consider
It is the very same word use about David...
he saw the woman.
Simply meaning that they were using the same sense,
the same human judgment from within.
They were not just looking with their eyes,
they were wondering, considering, thinking it over...
before using their free will.

Second...
Eve perceived that 
the tree was good... 
This is the Hebrew word:
2896 towb (tobe) which means...
beautiful, pleasant, agreeable to the senses;
giving pleasure, happiness, prosperity.
It is the same word use by David
when he saw a woman
very beautiful to behold
(sill the same Hebrew word good)
Even from a distance,
David considered Bathsheba to be
beautiful, pleasant, giving pleasure, happiness.
And it is what enticed David to inquire about her...
as Eve did the serpent about the fruit.

It is also interestingly, the same word used by God... twice.
Describing His tree as good for food,
and as a whole, the tree of knowledge as good and evil.
The good is set as a contrast to the evil...
Let me just throw in a bonus word here:
7451 ra' (rah) is Hebrew for evil, which means...
adversity, disagreeable,
​malignant, severe judgment,
pain, unhappiness, trial, misery.

Third...
When Eve sees the tree...
that it was pleasant to the eyes,
it's the same Hebrew word used in the verse
when God described His tree
that is pleasant to the sight
This is the Hebrew word:
4758 merah (mar-eh') which means...
desirable in appearance, impressive, sight,
what outward eyes compare, superficial.

Now, I honestly expected this word to be found
in the verses of 2 Samuel, when David saw Bathsheba,
but they were not there.
But then, I was more surprised to find
that was how God described this tree.

God made this tree of the knowledge of good and evil
superficially appealing to the eye...
​impressive and appealing at a glance.
That was the "good" part.
But oh what damage within.
The ra'... or the evil.... if only Eve had known of this.
adversity, disagreeable,
malignant, severe judgment,
pain, unhappiness, trial, misery.

And David as well.

And I'm wondering if God made the tree that way
on purpose.
To test of what Adam and Eve were made.
They had all the trees in the garden
from which to eat.
And this one, I would guess was most beautiful...
and in the center.

it probably kept calling her name.
You know what I mean.
Like that thing you want to buy.
You look at the picture of it,
over, and over, and over...
and over, again.

You almost click the button to buy...
but no.
You drive by the store,
or look into the window.
You're tempted.
But then you'd have to explain
the receipt.

Maybe it's not something to buy.
It's something to eat.
Or someone with which to spend time.
Or somewhere you want to go.

All entice us superficially.
They cheer us on.
But maybe that should be the clue...
The reason not to.
Remember the ra'...
adversity, disagreeable,
malignant, severe judgment,
pain, unhappiness, trial, misery.

We have learned the lessons of
the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Just like we know the deceptive sin of David,
drawn in by the superficially beautiful outward beauty...
the impressive and appealing glance

But we should shake ourselves clear of it.
We cannot get caught up in this Spring Fever,
sitting around idle, too much time on our hands...
thinking of,
dreaming on,
looking at,
wondering about.
We need to remember the ra'.
adversity, disagreeable,
malignant, severe judgment,
pain, unhappiness, trial, misery.

These are the things we do NOT want
to bring into our life...
the EVIL

Let us rather keep busy in this battle
we call life.
Let us find our passions,
see out purpose,
stay our course.

Let us not be idle,
staring at the superficial enticements
that raise our temperature
and spread the fever.

Word of God,
train me, today...
to keep my eyes fixed on You.
to seek the purposeful life, rather than the beautiful one.

Thank You, Lord,
for opening my eyes
to this tree of the knowledge
of good and evil.
Help me always to remember the ra'.

Lead me away from the superficial
and toward the purposeful
and powerful places.

I long to be where You are.
Not standing and staring
at things of this world.